You Should Be More Cringe

Introduction

I've followed The Second Button on Instagram since college, and I'm always blown away by his self-photography.

I love the way he captures his style, but what I love even more is how he captures his personality.

I started getting into this with mirror pictures, but I've recently been feeling that I needed to take my pictures to the next level.

I knew I needed to start taking full body pictures with a ring light, the problem was - I was too scared to do it.

I have no problem posting my thoughts on the internet, but my full body?

That's so cringe.

Defining Cringe

First, what does it mean to be cringe?

I would define cringe as: "acting in a way that attracts attention without having the social proof to justify it."

Right now, I have 749 followers on Instagram, 145 on TikTok, and 40 email subscribers on this blog.

Needless to say, I don’t exactly have the credentials to act like an influencer without it feeling … weird.

But lately, I’ve started to realize that this social rule is irrational for three main reasons:

1. The fear of being cringe is rooted in social expectations—not in explicit social rules.

2. Allowing yourself to be cringe is the price of entry for growth and development.

3. Submitting to cringe means surrendering the power to define who you are to other people.

Recently, I’ve been trying to shift how I think about being cringe.

Today, I want to help you embrace it, and find the freedom to put yourself out there.

1) The fear of being cringe

Like I said earlier, being cringe is simply acting in a way that commands attention without an audience to normalize it.

When someone is being cringe, they’re essentially saying, “Look at me!”—but without a crowd behind them.

Doing this can feel terrifying because it forces you to be exposed and vulnerable to other people’s judgment.

If you’ve ever had that dream where you show up to school in your pajamas and everyone stares at you, then you can imagine how isolating it can feel to put yourself out there.

But I think we need to make a habit of doing exactly that, of allowing ourselves to be seen, so we can become the people we’re meant to be.

2) Being cringe & personal growth

Being cringe is the first step to growth—because cringe is inevitable when you're trying something new in public.

When you take that first step and post yourself playing an instrument, talking in a video, or launching a business, it will feel cringe. And that’s okay!

If you wait until you feel good enough to put yourself out there, you run the risk of never even starting.

And guess what happens if you never take action? YOU’LL NEVER BE GOOD ENOUGH.

If you want to get better at something that involves showing up publicly you have to start somewhere.

And I truly believe that breaking free from the fear of being cringe is what puts your growth in your own hands, not in the hands of other people.

3) You should decide who you want to be

In my case, the reason posting full-body pictures with a ring light felt cringe is because I don’t have the following, or the social proof, of a traditional influencer.

If I had 10k followers across all platforms, it would be a completely different story.

Posting full-body outfit photos in my room would be expected, even celebrated.

But because I don’t have that kind of social validation, doing it now is considered weird or cringe.

Still, I disagree with that logic—because if I submit to this rule, I might never get to try something I actually want to do.

Waiting around for social validation before doing something puts your start date in other people’s hands.

It’s like you’re asking for permission.

But how are people supposed to know you’re good at something if you won’t even let them see you doing it until you’re sure they’ll approve?

This creates a self-destructive pattern—one that promotes stagnation over progress. And honestly? I’m sick of it.

So I finally said, "Screw it—I’m buying a ring light.”

And here’s what I’ve done so far.

Using my ring light

When I first stood in front of the ring light to take my first full-body photo, I felt like I had no idea what I was doing.

I mean—what am I even supposed to do with my hands?

That’s something I love about mirror selfies: they give you something to do with your hands. You’re holding your phone. Nothing to worry about.

But here I was, fully exposed, and it felt really lonely.

My first few pictures were terrible.

But I think that’s what makes them funny.

After a while I learned to feel more comfortable being perceived being uncomfortable.

It's easy to take things seriously and waste your mental energy trying to be perfect, but I'm learning to relieve myself from that pressure.

There's something so freeing about letting yourself try something new.

Yes, it can be scary to put yourself out there without social proof, but I think that's why you should do it.

Giving yourself permission to try new things makes it easier, and more comfortable, for other people to do the same.

If we all just started being ourselves loudly, it wouldn’t be so scary anymore.

Conclusion

If there’s anything I want you to take away from this post, it’s this: you should let yourself be yourself.

Being cringe can feel terrifying—but I think it’s also kind of incredible.

Because once you make it to the other side, you’ll look back and wonder, What was I so afraid of?

Tyler Oakley once said, “Everything that you ever want to accomplish is on the other side of being slightly cringe.”

And I completely agree.

How are you ever going to become the person you want to be if you’re too afraid to try something new?

Everyone you look up to was once exactly where you are.

When @the.second.button started posting, I bet he felt scared too.

But he took the leap, and I did too.

The world is ready to see the real you.

So whenever you’re ready, just know—I’ll be here, rooting for you every step of the way.

Thanks for reading!

–JM

P.S. - I'm going to be changing my content strategy to revolve around confidence and being yourself. This means I'm going to be updating my website and social media profiles over the coming weeks. I'm really excited for this new change, and I feel like I've finally found my voice. Writing about fashion retail was fun, but I'm ready to do something personal that means something. My goal is to use my clothes to inspire you to live with confidence and enthusiasm. The world would be a much better place if everyone was free to shine as their brightest self, and I want to help create that one reader at a time.

---

I’ve set a goal for 2025, and I need your help to hit it. I want to grow my email list to 50 subscribers. Pretty soon, I'll be sharing exclusive content with just my exclusive subscribers. To sign up, just click the link below, type your email, and hit enter. You’ll be glad you did. : )))

SUBSCRIBE